When the first snow of winter fell in the silent harbor, Zanni stood on the high tower and saw a glimmer of light in the sky. It was not dawn, nor was it a light, but a late supply ship, moving slowly on the broken ice.
She didn’t speak, but just tightened her scarf. The wind was cold, cutting on her face like a knife, and time moved slowly around her, as slow as frozen river water. But in her heart, there was a little fire, beating gently.
In Chi Zijian’s world, there are often such people: silent, quiet as snow, but bearing invisible weight in silence. Zanni is such a woman.
In the world of Mingchao, she is an excellent fighter and a recorder. She is responsible for archives, recording anomalies, and monitoring fluctuations. She is not a protagonist in the light. She often sits alone at the end, standing upright in a silent post.
She is not as bright as Yinlin, nor does she have a strong sense of presence like Verina. She doesn’t have any “protagonist halo”. She just repeats her own duties and lives seriously, like a brick on the city wall, or a patrol in the early morning that no one notices.
She doesn’t want to leave, but she knows she can’t.
The harbor needs people like her. There is too much passion, unrestrainedness and eagerness in this world, and too much noise, brevity and collapse. She must be calm, precise, and maintain order in every possible chaos.
Her fire attribute is not to burn the outside world, but to melt herself. Her emotions are polished into fine sparks, which are not enough to illuminate others, but can give a cup of hot water to tired night shift workers.
If you ask her if she is tired, she will only shake her head gently.
Because “tired” is what she dare not say.
Once that sentence is spoken, it is like a hole in the ice, and all the hidden emotions will pour out. And she cannot collapse, she must be the first to close the doors and windows and block the cold wind.
She was young and had a bit of temper. Once, she was misunderstood and scolded. She just stood there with red eyes, but she didn’t say a word to defend herself. She went back to the duty room, rewrote the report word by word, and used a pen to clear her name.
Chi Zijian wrote this sentence in “The Right Bank of the Ergun River”: “People have to keep something in their lives, otherwise their hearts will be cold.”
What Zani kept was the belief of “not giving up”. Not for anyone, nor for glory, but for the quiet and never noisy self in her heart.
Occasionally, she would think about whether she should return to a small town further south when she retires. Plant some vegetables, bask in the sun, and raise a cat. Listen to the birds singing every morning, make tea in the afternoon, and no longer patrol or write reports at night, just sit in front of the window and watch the snowflakes fall from the eaves.
But she never said it out loud.
She knew she couldn’t leave yet, the fire hadn’t burned out, the snow hadn’t stopped, and she had to continue.
Once, a storm hit, and the entire harbor was out of power. The system was paralyzed and communications were lost. She was alone at the duty station, relying on the weak backup energy to restart the equipment bit by bit. Her fingertips could hardly bend because of the cold, her eyes were dry, and her voice was hoarse.
But she did not leave her post until the lights came back on.
After that day, no one thanked her in particular, and there was no applause. She just quietly hung up her clothes, filed the report, and then walked out the door alone.
It was still dark, and the snow pressed the branches to make a creaking sound. Her figure was thin, like a nail in the wind, nailed to the cold land.
Chi Zijian likes to write about winter because winter is more honest than any other season. It makes people see the fragility of life and the most hidden tenderness in human nature.
Zanni is a kind of tenderness in winter.
She doesn’t talk about love or hate, she won’t suddenly explode or collapse. She just walks silently on the road she should walk, without shirking, escaping, showing off, or hiding.
You may not pay attention to her for a long time, but once you pay attention, you will find that she has always been there, holding up this frozen world in the most peaceful way.
She is not a raging fire, but she can melt snow.
She is not a hero, but she has been taking responsibility.
Her fire is not bright, but it can bring you back to the shore in the dark.
She is Zanni, a person who hides her heart in the depths of the cold, but always uses fire to warm others.